"I continue to marvel at those that oppose marriage equality who in no way would be disadvantaged when it comes into fruition."

There are moments in America’s brief history when ordinary people do extraordinary things that leave a permanent mark on society.  With last week’s passing of Mildred Loving we are once again reminded of such an example.

Loving, who was African American, and her white husband, Richard, changed history in 1967 when the U.S. Supreme Court upheld their right to marry. The ruling struck down laws banning racially mixed marriages in roughly 17 states. Richard Loving died in 1975.

The Associated Press in their obituary described Loving as “shy and soft-spoken.”  Loving shunned publicity but in a rare interview last year she told AP she never wanted to be a hero — just a bride.

Mildred Jeter was 11 when she and 17-year-old Richard began dating, according to Phyl Newbeck, the author who detailed the case in her book, “Virginia Hasn't Always Been for Lovers.”

When Mildred became pregnant, she and Richard were married in Washington DC in 1958, she was 18. In recalling the events to AP she didn't realize it was illegal.

But the state of Virginia knew it was illegal as the Lovings were taken from their bed in the middle of the night and arrested for being married, thus sewing the seeds for their landmark case, Loving v. Virginia.

Richard Loving’s sister was able to bail him out, but had she bailed out Mildred Loving as well, Richard would have been arrested again. At the trial, the Lovings were told to leave the state for 25 years.

The Lovings understood this to mean that their exile from Virginia did however permit them to return for periodic visits. When they returned the next Easter, they were arrested again.

Though in no way tied directly to the larger civil rights movement that was captivating the country at the same time, the Loving’s contribution was no less important in changing America for the better.

The passing of Mildred Loving along with the 41 years since her landmark case was decided reminds us that we still have yet to reach marriage equality in this society. The rights that the Lovings fought for continue to be denied to same-gender couples.

Why is it so difficult to adhere to what the country was founded upon?  If we hold certain truth’s to be self evident that we are created equal and that we all have the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, would it not stand to reason that marriage equality is a debate that should have concluded yesterday?

So much of this debate centers on the dominant culture’s personal discomfort.   How quickly we forget that the principles that are at the foundation of the American experiment were never based on personal discomfort.

At the time of the Loving decision, a majority of Americans did not hold a favorable view of interracial marriage.  I don’t hold a favorable view of the Ku Klux Klan, but I do support their inclusion to participate in the Bill of Rights because their participation is inextricably linked to mine whether I like it or not. 

Sidebar debates as to whether those supportive of same-gender marriage make an accurate comparison between their plight and the Civil Rights Movement of the 1960’s are irrelevant.

Does equal protection under the law mean equal or are there qualifiers that do not appear on the document?  If there are qualifiers we need to have that discussion.  If not, then the marriage equality debate must be liberated from the subjective dungeon of one’s personal feelings.

I continue to marvel at those that oppose marriage equality who in no way would be disadvantaged when it comes into fruition.  And it will happen; when is the only unknown variable.

When Mildred Loving was asked why they took their case to the Supreme Court, she very simply but no less profoundly said, “Richard and I love one another, and we want the right to live together in Virginia and raise our children there.”

That is her legacy and the hope she leaves myriad couples still fighting for what she achieved 41 years ago.